Hope For Healing

During a dream recently, I had a profound understanding of the importance of forgiveness, and acceptance. After I woke, the truth of this understanding stayed with me. When you can forgive an injury that someone has done, you are able to recognize your own humanity as well as the humanity of the other. It sets you both free to accept each other and yourself, to recognize that you both are human beings who make mistakes. Forgiveness allows for healing and transformation to occur. It melts the barriers that divide and isolate you from others and from the divine. If you are angry or bitter or frustrated, your awareness of the other and of the divine is blocked from reach. You become diminished. You become closed. Your life force drains away.

When you can forgive and accept that the circumstances are as they are, it frees you to become your best self. In the moment of forgiveness you are flooded with grace and many more possibilities exist than when you hold hate in your heart. Forgiveness defies logic. It doesn't make sense that you should let go of some horrible or evil thing that someone has done. Your logical mind tells you it is wrong. Evil and wrong-doing must be punished. But the truth is punishment does not resolve evil, it only perpetuates it. The golden rule is golden because it brings about peace – do unto others as you want others to do unto you. Sometimes you think that your actions are unforgivable, so you judge others in the same way. Forgiveness frees both the forgiver and the forgiven.

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission was established in South Africa after Nelson Mandela became president in 1994. It was one of the most powerful healing acts the new government of set in motion. They decided not to punish people who had committed political crimes during the apartheid years. If people came forward and told the truth about their atrocities, they would be given immunity. Victims could testify as well as perpetrators. I witnessed the mother of a slain black youth testify. The man responsible for killing her young son also testified how they beat the boy and threw the body in a shallow grave. He explained where the body was buried. He wept and asked the mother's forgiveness. She embraced him, also in tears and thanked him for telling her the truth. This is one of many moving stories of unbelievable acts of forgiveness and healing. The testimonies of this commission helped to heal the soul of a nation, which is now prospering after many years of violence and struggle.

I believe that forgiveness and acceptance are truly our only hope for real healing and transformation. It requires of us a broad vision – letting go of our limited notions of right and wrong, good and evil. It requires instead a deep compassionate understanding of the nature of human beings. Love alone heals. Through forgiveness and acceptance our capacity to love and be loved expands.

An Exercise in Forgiveness:

Think of something you have done in your life for which you have difficulty forgiving yourself. Close you eyes. Imagine that black South African mother embracing you and saying that she forgives you. Imagine that she is offering you divine love and unconditional acceptance. Allow yourself to feel that love wash over you.

Now think of someone you have had difficulty forgiving. Close your eyes and see that person. Imagine yourself hugging that person and saying “I forgive you”. Feel the divine love washing over both of you, held in that embrace. Give thanks to God that such a thing is possible. If you have trouble doing this exercise, repeat it daily until you feel the love flowing freely.